Are you an enabler?

Many of us have someone close to us addicted to drugs or alcohol; unfortunately, it is more common than not. We find ourselves trying everything in our power to help our addicted loved ones cope or provide them with what we think helps them. We have to stop and ask ourselves if the “help” we are giving is enabling instead of helping. When you love someone with substance abuse, you will try to protect then as the best you can. Unfortunately, the protection or help you are giving is more harmful than helpful. You become an enabler. Realizing you are an enabler might be difficult because you genuinely believe you are doing what’s best for your loved one, and you feel you are empowering them. If you find yourself wondering if maybe you are enabling this addict in your life, ask yourself a few questions. Are you lying for this person to cover up his/her poor repetitive choices? Are you putting your needs and desires aside to please or “help” this person? Are you ignoring unacceptable behavior? Giving money when it is not deserved or appreciated to fulfill urges to use drugs or alcohol to avoid them blowing up? If you answered yes to these questions or yes to close scenarios like these questions, then you ARE enabling your addicted loved one. To stop enabling does not mean you do not love them anymore, and it does not mean you can not help them. You need to know the difference in supporting and enabling. Stop doing for them what they can and need to do for themselves. Stop taking responsibility for poor choices. We all live in the same world with the same rules. Addicts must learn to live by them as well and face the consequences of their actions. Again, this does not mean you do not love them; this means you DO love them, and you want what is best for them. You want to protect your loved ones and help them no matter what, but you must do what’s best for them, and that is letting them take responsibility for what they have done. Stop taking the blame and covering up for the enabled. Addiction is not easy for anyone involved. With the right support system and treatment plan, it is possible. At Bright Futures Treatment Facility, we provide quality care personalized for each individual. We understand that addiction is hard on everyone in the family, not just the person addicted to drugs or alcohol. If you would like to find out more information on your programs or further details regarding enabling, reach out to us at 1-844-SOBER-00.